"You say, 'I am rich. I have everything I want. I don't need a thing!' And you don't realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference. Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends." Revelation 3:17-20
Lately I have been thinking about where my life was before I came to Thailand. It's so funny the things that God draws us through to teach us the things He wants us to learn. Nine months ago, I had my whole life planned out. I knew exactly what my life was like. I was marrying the "perfect" guy, I had the "perfect" house, I was going to start the "perfect" job, and I was rich. I thought I had everything I could ever want. I had it all planned down to the name of my very first child, and I wasn't even married yet. I had the guy, I had the house, I had the life. But in all actuality, I was poor, blind and naked. This life was not the life God had for me. I was filling my life up with material things and allowing so many things to come before Him. I was searching for happiness in everything else but Him. I thought life was "perfect" and I didn't need a thing! But little did I know, I was allowing myself to forget how much I need God, and need God only. God was continuously standing at the door and knocking and I was finally able to let Him in. God stepped in and completely transformed my life. This transformation was the beautiful letdown. It was so painfully uncool, but was the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. I thank God every day that He let me down. God always has a way of letting me down, and I'm so glad He does.
We so many times, take life into our own hands and grab the reins from God. We go full steam ahead and try to fit God into our plans, instead of placing ourselves in His hands and His plans. I have learned that resting in God's hands is the best place to ever be. I was letdown, but it was the most beautiful letdown of my life. I have never been happier or more rich then I am right now sitting in Thailand amidst 130 children who are passionately in love with the Lord. Never could I ever be worthy enough to be here and yet God drew me through so much to get me here. He drew me through one of the hardest times of my life, to teach me His love. To teach me that the things I put an importance on are nothing to Him. The day I found out that all the riches this world had to offer me would never do, was the day I discovered God fully. When I think I'm rich and I have it all, I'm reminded that the greatest riches are found in Him and Him alone. I am happier sitting on the ground, with dirty feet, bugs flying at my face, holding the hands of the little girls who wrap me with their love, then a million dollars could ever make me. My joy does not come from what God gives to me or what He takes away but in Him. When my joy, peace, love, rest, and beauty are found in Him nothing else matters. I'm letdown over and over again. MY plans are letdown and God's plans are lifted up. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11. Those are the plans that I want. I want to be in God's will instead of shoving Him into mine. I want to walk right behind Him instead of racing in front of Him. When my life is lived like this, I find true happiness. We sing the song "I surrender all, I surrender all. All to thee, Lord, I surrender. I surrender all". When I sing these words, I mean what I sing. All I have Lord, I surrender. This is when I find true joy. Surrendering my life and resting in His hands. I AM RICH!
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4 comments:
Andrea,
What can one say after having such an experience. Yes, the true power is in how we feel and not in what we have. A poor person can feel better than a wealthy one. Thats why I'm trying to get rid of all my stuff. Like yourself, God let me down. I gave him all the stuff in the back yard and he gave it right back to me. LOL He said I needed to learn something and to keep trying. Good will come of it yet. Love, DAD
Your blog reminded me of a song by Mercy Me: "Bring the Rain".
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you oh Lord
My only shelter from the storms
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know There’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus Bring the Rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty.
"My joy does not come from what God gives to me or what He takes away but in Him." YES! Andrea I am envious of the chance to have God teach you these things in such a tangible way. I have had a lot of conversations lately about how difficult it is to live in the way you describe here while in the U.S. Its hard...so many distractions...its just hard...
I love you. I'm so glad God let you down...because that resulted in me meeting YOU! who knows what would've happened if your plan worked out...i am so blessed to hear what God is doing in you and through you. Those little girls are the luckiest little girls in the world because I know how capable you are of loving deeply...God is incredible. His ways are so much higher than ours...and I love him for it.
Maybe this would've been more appropriate to post on your later blog, but here it is. I absolutely love this verse...it reminds me how soverign and HUGE God is :)
1 Corinth 1:25-31
Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble;but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, "LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD."
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